By Pam Stewart

As I read the first section of Chapter 6 on denominational lifespan, I could really get in touch with how my children (now adults) would have viewed our church. It is the exception, rather than the rule, that a young person continues in their faith journey through college. I actually could see a lot of myself, too, in that I became more motivated to attend a church regularly after I was married and had my first child. No wonder young adults don’t feel a connection in many of our churches when most of the leaders are usually those who – let us say are “no longer wet behind the ears”! I do think we are missing a very important asset in keeping the younger generation more involved. Of course, on the flip side, a lot of young adults and/or young parents don’t have as much time to be as involved as they would like to be. We need to make it easier for young adult members of the congregation to be involved (i.e. childcare and, more importantly, being open to trying something different, instead of doing things the same way we have always done.)  If they don’t feel they have any input, why would they want to be involved?

As I continued reading in this chapter, I was really enlightened hearing the thoughts of the author about young clergy. I never thought of all the obstacles to attracting & keeping young clergy. Inadequate compensation & gender discrimination weren’t totally a surprise, but I must admit when I continued to read the sections on “lack of authority” & church members not being willing to listen to new ideas and/or discounting new ideas brought to a church by a younger minister, it disturbed me. How will our denomination continue to grow if we don’t address these issues?

From page 87:  “These moments–when we feel as if we are a part of something larger than ourselves and we sense our connection to God and our neighbor–these moments feed us.  In our hunger, when we cannot grasp on to anything else at the end of our fingertips, we long for these rare spirit-filled times.  They are the reason that younger generations go to church.”

Dorothy brought up tonight that she has now been at Dorchester for 3 years.  That’s hard to believe.  As I think back to August 2006, I can recall several of those “rare spirit-filled times” mentioned in chapter 5–those moments of community that do bring us closer to God and to neighbor.  Carol Howard Merritt claims that these moments are what the younger generation so longs for.  I think she’s right. 

What comes to mind is oyster roasts, Riverdogs and Battery ballgames, a week spent in Pearlington, youth trips, work repairing a church in North Charleston, a night with our three guitar guys, Dorchester’s own talent show, dinner at Rural Mission, the Advent Festival and hymn sing, etc., etc., etc.  The list could go on and on of all those times the past three years that, for us, we have felt as though we were part of something larger than ourselves.

Most Sunday mornings it’s a challenge to get Taylor into the car to get to church.  She’s fine at home, thank you very much.  But then we remind her of all the people she will get to see there.  We list them by name; we remind her of the friends that make up the church.  Her demeanor then changes, and she bolts for the door.   

The paragraph quoted above from page 87 certainly rings true for me, as a young adult, but I’m curious if it also rings true for the rest of you.  What are some of the moments you can recall where you experienced those “rare spirit-filled times” with your church family?  What experiences have you had at Dorchester, with your friends, that motivate you to bolt for the door and get to church?

            Chapter 4 is probably my favorite chapter from the book.  There’s not really a deep, well thought out reason for this.  It’s simply because she opens the chapter talking about Mister Rogers, an ordained Presbyterian minister, and hero of the faith for me.  “Won’t you be my neighbor.”  Recently our little almost-two-year-old has watched a few episodes of Mister Rogers, and it has brought back good memories.  Just imagine if we were all a little bit more like Mister Rogers.  I wish I was.

            There’s actually a lot of heavy stuff in chapter 4—sexuality, war, heaven, hell, and big words like orthodoxy and orthopraxis and hermeneutics.  The strongest statement in the chapter to me was on page 73, “If someone in their twenties and thirties has a positive view of religion after living through the events of the last two decades, they’ve overcome some huge obstacles.”  I’ve thought a lot about that statement; I agree with it.  But what’s interesting to me is that those in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s all have lived through the same events, haven’t they?  Does anyone have any idea why it’s different for those of us in our 20’s and 30’s?

            Other than that, I’m sure we’re all over the place with where we individually are in our reading.  If you’re willing, please share how far along you are and what your thoughts are so far about the book’s message.  What’s stood out to you?  What’s troubled you?  What’s given you hope? 

            Dorothy, six junior highs, and I will be piling into the bus and heading to the Montreat Middle School Conference on Wednesday.  It’s always a great trip, but keep us all in your prayers.

Grace and Peace!

We’re back in business—sorry for the long layoff.  Perhaps some of you have already finished the book; perhaps some of you haven’t picked it up yet off the night stand.  At any rate, here are a few thoughts/questions from chapters 2 and 3.  Wherever you are in your reading though, your thoughts are appreciated.  We’ll try to do about one chapter a week from here on out.

Carol Howard Merritt suggests going through the church, the nursery, etc and acting as if you were showing up for the first time.(p33)  For instance, would you want your child playing in the nursery with the toys that are there?  What about other areas of the church?  How would we stack up?

She also mentions a very real problem of having a nursery provided during church events.  I noticed during the two mission study events that we attended that there were very few families with children there (I had to leave one early to get home to pay the babysitter).  Could we have had a better turnout and more inclusive conversation if nursery would have been provided or it would have been at a different time? (p34)(By the way, the last thing I want is for us to redo them—I think we need to get on with it ASAP and start interviewing candidates.)

Carol gives a good bit of evidence that the economic realities of young adults today are vastly different from young adults in generations past. (p45)  Do you agree or disagree.  Why?

Why do you think young adults (or anyone for that matter) should give their money to the church?  How do we know the church and our ministers are being good stewards of our money?  If there is suspicion that good stewardship of our money is not taking place, is it okay to not donate? Even though we recently had a Sunday School class on money, can you recall money being a topic of conversation at times other than when pledge Sunday is approaching?  Are we missing the boat on an incredibly important spiritual matter?

            Are there any other thoughts, comments, questions, or concerns you want to share?

            See you in Sunday School.  The topic is “Where are all the young adults?”

Thank you to those who have already made comments – I am enjoying reading your thoughts (especiallly your ideas and hopes for the future of DPC!).   We will be posting on chapter 2 later this week.

Please do not be discouraged if you leave a comment and it doesn’t get posted immediately.   In order to protect the integrity of the blog, I have the page set up so that I have to approve a comment before it gets posted to the blog, which may take a few hours, depending on how often I am checking my e-mail.

In order to comment on a post:

1. Click on “Leave A Comment” at the bottom of the post.  If someone has already commented on a post, the link will say “# Comments” listing the number of comments already posted, but that is still where you click.
2. Enter your name and e-mail address
3. Write your comment
4. Hit “Submit Comment”

Then it will be e-mailed to me for approval.  But this is only for your first comment – once I have approved your name/e-mail address, your comments will be posted immdediately (as long as you use the same name and e-mail address you used the first time).

Make sense?

Now Discuss

Greetings from Montreat, N.C. where we are having a great time. Now that just about everyone has their books, we’ll go ahead and get started on our book blog. Remember that this is an experiment in conversation starting—don’t expect everything to go perfectly as we try this for the first time. We are always open to suggestions/criticisms. We chose this book before reading it, based on what we heard others say. I borrowed the presbytery office’s copy about three weeks ago and read through it and am now reading through it again so that I’m updated for our discussion (I couldn’t make marks in the presbytery’s copy!)

I am really excited about hearing more thoughts about the book, particularly the introduction and chapter 1 for this week, since it is addressing if not the most, certainly one of the most, pressing issues for the church in our time. Too often the solution churches decide to try is to just do a contemporary worship. But even our traditional services are supposed to be contemporary in some sense, aren’t they? Like Carol Howard Merritt makes pretty clear, “Visiting contemporary worship services particularly designed for young adults made me feel irritated and empty.” (pg 15) My guess is that there is a lot of fear in the church of young adults. I like when Merritt points out on page 6 that we go to great lengths to not be sexist or racist, but there’s some pretty blatant ageism taking place. (Yes, I think this goes both ways) But for instance, the presbytery has a committee on representation that makes sure committees are representative of the ethnic and gender realities in the presbytery, but age never shows up on their statistic sheets and the same people remain in power. Why is that?

I like the simplicity that Carol Howard Merritt used when talking about all our longings for community and for intergenerational connectedness. Where else can you get that in our culture today? I also like the simplicity of her describing the term “tribal” as “(1) a gathering around a common cause, (2) a ministry shift to basic care, (3) the practice of spiritual traditions, and (4) a network of intergenerational encouragement.” (pg eight)

Along with your general thoughts about the introduction and chapter 1, I’m curious to hear your thoughts on if those four goals are aspects of the church you dream of. If so, what is Dorchester doing right in those areas? What can we be doing better? If those four goals aren’t complete for you, what’s missing? I look forward to the dialogue and learning from one another.

We will start posting questions soon.

But for now – some housekeeping notes. 

• The books are in.  If you didn’t get yours on Sunday, you can come by the office anytime 9-1 to pick yours up, or you can get it this Sunday.
• If you haven’t paid, please write out a check for $13.60 with “Tribal Church book” in the memo line.
• Please check out the links on the right hand side ->  They are some good relevent reads!
• If you need more info on blogging, click on the “How To” button above.

Tribal Church: Ministering to the Missing Generation by Carol Howard Merritt

Product Description
Many churches are seeking ways to reach out to the younger generations. Unfortunately this often manifests as either a “come be just like us!” attitude–suggesting an unwillingness to change in order to be inclusive of young people–or as a slick marketing campaign that targets young adults in much the same way secular advertising does. Both of these approaches often leave young adults feeling that their particular spiritual gifts and needs are unwanted by the church. “We only want you for your demographics” is the message given.

Carol Howard Merritt, a pastor in her mid-thirties, suggests a different way for churches to be able to approach young adults on their own terms. Outlining the financial, social, and familial situations that affect many young adults today, she describes how churches can provide a safe, supportive place for young adults to nurture relationships and foster spiritual growth. There are few places left in society that allow for real intergenerational connections to be made, yet these connections are vital for any church that seeks to reflect the fullness of the body of Christ.

Using the metaphor of a tribe to describe the close bonds that form when people of all ages decide to walk together on their spiritual journeys, Merritt casts a vision of the church that embraces the gifts of all members while reaching out to those who might otherwise feel unwelcome or unneeded. Mainline churches have much to offer young adults, as well as much to learn from them. By breaking down artificial age barriers and building up intentional relationships, congregations can provide a space for all people to connect with God, each other, and the world.

Review
Carol Howard Merritt crisply articulates fresh answers to those tired mainline plaints, “Where are the young people? What do they want?” Her recommendations will rouse cheers from our seminary students, give new lenses to aging Boomer eyes, and fill our pews with new vitality. –Anne S. Howard, Executive Director, The Beatitudes Society

Carol Howard Merritt dismantles the wall of stained glass that often separates mainline churches from people under forty. Combining real-life stories, personal reflections as a thirty-something, and current research, Merritt affords congregations a clearer, more compassionate view not only of the “missing generation,” but of themselves and their ministry. –Eric Elnes, Senior Pastor of Scottsdale Congregational United Church of Christ and author of Asphalt Jesus: Finding a New Christian Faith on the Highways of America

I cannot think of a more valuable book for pastors, lay leaders, and anyone concerned about the future of the church than Tribal Church. Anyone who wants to understand better the young people who are coming to their church (or those who are not coming!) and how we can better respond to their quest for faith, meaning, life, and love should read this book, and read it with care. –Michael Jinkins, Academic Dean and Professor of Pastoral Theology at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary and author of Letters to New Pastors